Feature: Top 5 E-Rated Games That Are Too Hard For Kids

According to the ESRB, a game that is rated "E" is supposedly dubbed "appropriate for children ages 6 and up."  I've always pondered this notion, as many of the games I play don this rating.  However, as I go through some of them, I sometimes wonder how such a young child can be expected to play them competently.  Even games that are rated "E10+" have struck me as kind of odd, for the very same reason.

Personally, I believe that games should be rated not only based on content, but also based on difficulty.  For instance, next to the "E" on the back of a box, a list of criteria could include something like this:

 
This way, the ESRB can actually inform parents about the true nature of a game (for once).  Truth be told, game ratings are incredibly misleading, because "questionable content" isn't the only thing to watch out for when buying a new title for your 1st grader. 

As it turns out, some games that are rated "E" are actually intended to appeal to older audiences.  However, these games don't contain anything too inappropriate, so they pass by with an "E" or "E10+" rating (and yes, I'm pretty much grouping those together).  Once this happens, the trap is set, and parents buy these games for their elementary school kids, not knowing that said games were going to be punching their children in the guts with their challenges.


#5:  Super Monkey Ball (Series)
This game seems innocent enough to parents who are looking for something fun for their child to play.  It's full of colors and smiling little monkeys.  There are cartoon-like sound effects constantly playing in the background, and the soundtrack is always upbeat and energizing.   And look!  It even helps the player sometimes with barriers and guard rails to guide them to safety!

"Boy, am I glad these are going to be in every level!"

Super Monkey Ball is diabolical in terms of lulling the player into a false sense of security.  The overabundance of cuteness distracts a person from the fact that the game is about to kick your butt.  Sure, the first few levels are almost impossible to die on, and you can breeze through them with almost zero effort.  However, once you progress a few worlds, the true nature of the game is revealed.

"Why are the platforms so small?!  What is happening?!"

This series doesn't take your crap.  In fact, with its charming and colorful atmosphere, it almost seems to laugh at your face whenever you mess up.  The games hold your hand for the first few levels before kicking you to the curb and making you learn things the hard way.  The effect of this can be jarring to even the most experienced gamer.  For a child, it can flat-out make them cry.  Not even I can comprehend how to do something like this.  As much as I love the series, I still think it's way too hard for their supposedly "intended audience."

Yeah, there's no way a 6-year old could beat one of these games.  It's absolutely impossible.  Absolutely...Um...

Okay, yeah.  I stand corrected on that one...But I'm still sticking to my argument!


#4:  Donkey Kong Country Returns
This is yet another game that misleads the player due to its charming aesthetic.  The colors are vibrant, the characters are cartoony, and there isn't a single malicious thing to be found.

Oohh, but watch out for those spike traps, Little Timmy!
They might give you some trouble...

Unlike Super Monkey Ball, DKCR doesn't waste any time throwing you into the thick of things.  The first few levels are surprisingly challenging, and it only gets harder from there.  Soon you'll be swinging across vines, blasting through mine shafts, and generally doing everything you can to not die.  This game has been touted for its difficulty, but the innocent little "E" on the box would lead some to think otherwise.  Don't be fooled.

Do you think your 6-year-old will understand what's going on here?

This game almost constantly blasts your senses with all kinds of changing environments and hazardous obstacles.  As you progress through a level, you'll quickly notice that everything is moving, and it all wants to kill you.  The mind sometimes strains to comprehend what's happening, and the player constantly has to adjust in order to cope with the new challenges.  To me, that doesn't sound like anything a small child is capable of doing well. 

I'd like to believe that I'm underestimating 6-year-olds.  However, when a game makes me rage with the fury of trial-and-error frustration, I can't help but feel that a small child would have problems trying to constantly change strategies and rely on reflexes in the ways older gamers seem to do naturally.  For us, things like this are just par for the course. 

"Psh!  Whatever..."

To the game's credit, there is an option called "Super Guide," which allows players to have a computer take control over a character to show them how to beat the level.  However, while this can be a great tool to help out struggling players, the difference between watching someone make a jump, and then actually performing that jump yourself is substantial.  Thus, in the long run, it doesn't exactly give much help to kids who want the satisfaction of beating the game themselves.


#3:  Rayman Origins
In my past post about this game, I commented on how charming the art style looked, and how gratifying the platforming felt.  I also failed to mention that it was hard as crap.

You will die.  A lot.

Thankfully, this game features a carefully thought out and well employed sense of pacing.  Things gradually get harder as you progress, so nothing ever feels "cheap."  However, that doesn't mean things don't get challenging.  If you choose not to learn from the levels as you beat them, you will be left in the dust as Origins layers on even more challenges.  Everything seems to stack on top of itself.  When you gain a new ability, the later levels are structured to make you think about the different ways you can use it.

Looks like someone just learned how to swim!
...Why don't we make things just a liiiittle bit tougher, then?

As I said before, veteran gamers have no problems with these constant changes to gameplay.  They understand the fact that games sometimes build off of previous levels in order to make things harder.  To them, that's normal.  To a kid, however, it blows their freakin' mind.

"I have to do what?!  That's impossible!"

Rayman Origins employs a similar technique to Donkey Kong Country Returns.  If the game notices that you die too much on a certain section of a level, it will ask if you want to skip it.  In a sense, I suppose this could alleviate the pain for a child who's struggling, but to experienced players, this sometimes feels like a slap in the face.

"No, I don't want to skip!  I'm going to beat this!"

#2:  BIT. Trip Beat
I was thinking about grouping the entire BIT. Trip series into this one entry, but I figured it would be fairer to just include the hardest game out of all of them.  As the first in the series, Beat does not tolerate multiple mistakes.  It demands that you give it your full attention as you play.  Even then, you will still struggle with some of the patterns.

Just hit the dots back, right?  Ha, that's easy!

When parents look at a game like this, they see absolutely nothing wrong with it.  There are no suggestive visuals or offensive remarks.  No explicit content to be seen at all.  It's just an innocent little game...that yearns to make your child cry.

"What do I do?!  How do I...YEEAARRGGHH!"

Simple as it may look (and may very well be), Beat is an immensely challenging game that will give even the most experienced players difficulties.  There are only 3 levels, each of them roughly 15 minutes long.  During those 15 minutes, the player's senses are overloaded with exploding bits of color and sound, and he or she has to make sense of it all before things get too bad.  However, if worse comes to worst and you get a "Game Over," you have to start from the very beginning of the stage.  Even die-hard fans of the series like me find this to be an incredibly brutal punishment.

The challenging bosses at the end of each stage just add to the game's punch-you-in-the-face difficulty.  Everything about Beat requires patience and focus, which many kids around 6 years old don't seem to have a lot of these days.

This screen will haunt you in your dreams.

#1:  Braid
This was the game that caused me to have my epiphany about E-rated games.  As I twisted the fabrics of time, manipulating objects in unique and inventive ways that boggled the mind, I often began to wonder how a child could ever hope to figure out some of the puzzles.

Manipulate time to open the 3 doors on the right.  How?
Figure it out yourself, sport!

I can't even begin to describe how convoluted this game can get.  The basic objective is to collect all of the puzzle pieces in the levels.  You always have the ability to rewind or fast-forward time.  However, in some worlds, time might freeze when you stop moving, and only progress as you move forward.  Other worlds might have you controlling a doppelganger that mimics the previous movements that you made before you rewound time.  All of these mechanics play an integral part in progressing through a level, and you can't just simply "comprehend" them.  You have to master them. 

Everything inside the orb of light is slowed down, while
everything outside the bubble moves in real-time.
How do you take advantage of something like that?

The careful thought that goes into approaching each puzzle requires more than just gaming experience.  It calls for out-of-the-box creativity and patient planning.  Unfortunately, I can't see a small child coming up with some of the solutions that need to be figured out in order to progress.  The game is mind bending in more ways than one.  I mean, just look at how you're supposed to figure out this level:

Honestly, I can't see how an elementary school kid is supposed to figure that out.  It took me a good half an hour to do it on my own.  After finishing this level, I wondered to myself how children could play a game so complicated.  That's when it hit me.

The cryptic prose narrative that the player reads before venturing into each new world.  The convoluted and mind jarring puzzles.  The sophisticated tone of the peaceful soundtrack.  The surprisingly vague but contextually deep ending sequence.  Everything was clear to me.

Just because a game is approved for children, it doesn't mean it was intended for them.